I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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