Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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