I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
