What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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