Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
