Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
