look no pants
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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