found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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