I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
