WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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