at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
