I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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