WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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