Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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