i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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