i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
