I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
