i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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