Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
only you would photoshop your dick
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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