so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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