Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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