is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
