I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
