i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize