i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
