She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
