We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize