A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
