There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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