Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
