that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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