What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
