He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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