It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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