How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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