it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
