I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
