Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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