I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ladies don't puke and tell
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
