Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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