Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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