He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Who died my cat blue again?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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