she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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