She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
