my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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