i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
