he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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