so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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