You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
