dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
