thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
