i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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