The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
