Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
