I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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