...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I didn't notice because vodka
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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