Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
there is puke in my bra ... again
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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