She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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