He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
