so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
