who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
wrigley field is MILF paradise
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
