Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
