Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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