Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
