do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The uberlube is also flammable
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
