My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
