So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
